


1/2

by igiveup101



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, M/M, can be gen, can be jonty, i've just had this idea in my head for a while and i decided to just finish it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-13
Updated: 2015-08-13
Packaged: 2018-04-14 11:57:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4563723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/igiveup101/pseuds/igiveup101
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Canon divergent AU where Jasper was killed by the spear in the pilot</p>
            </blockquote>





	1/2

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this several months ago, then forgot about it. Thanks to Maddy for beta-ing (I cannot for the life of me remember your url, I'm so sorry). Any mistakes are mine.

Every single morning.

 

Every single morning, the first thing he did when he woke up was roll over and feel for Jasper. The second thing he did was remember.

 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------

 

_They had been running for 5 minutes when they finally found a clearing, stopping because they couldn’t go any further. As soon as they did, Monty’s thoughts had a chance to start ordering themselves, and he began to process what had just happened._

_“Jasper!” He turned and started to head back in the direction he thought they’d come from. Jasper. He’d left Jasper. The spear- oh God, oh God, oh God-_

_Clarke ripped him out of his thoughts, grabbing his arm to hold him back. “Monty, stop! We can’t go back there.”_

_Monty stared at her with wild eyes, mouth open in disbelief. “But Jasper’s- we have to go get Jasper, we have to- I have to- oh God.” He tore his arm away, tearing back into the forest as fast as his feet could take him._

_“Monty!”_

_He ignored the others’ shouts, running blindly through the woods. He didn’t stop to think about where he was going, or if it was the right direction, or what he was going to do when he found Jasper. His mind was racing as fast as his feet, consumed by a single thought: I have to save him.’_

_He was the one who’d stolen the weed. He forgot to replace it. He got them arrested. He was the reason they were on Earth. That’s why they went on the trip. That’s why Jasper got speared- oh god- and then Monty had left him. It was his fault, and he’d left him. He’d left him. He’d left him._

_Monty didn’t know how long it took until he tripped what seemed like the hundredth time over yet another overgrown tree root, and couldn’t get back up. His lungs burned, he was completely lost, and all he could think was that he’d gotten Jasper killed._

_That’s where they found him, hours later, doubled over and sobbing. Clarke knelt beside him, flinching when he jerked away from her touch. “Monty… It’s getting dark. We have to get back to camp. I know it’s hard, it’s so hard, but-”_

_“Fuck you,” he spat. Clarke pulled back, eyes wide. “We left him. All of us, every single one of us. Jasper was only there because you dragged us along with you. We never should have- I never should have- he never- you didn’t even look for him. And I tried, I looked, I ran, and I- I just fell on this stupid fucking tree, and I’ve been sitting here for God knows how long and he’s still out there and- and I think he’s dead. Oh god, Jasper’s-” Monty cut himself off, breathing heavily._

_“No. No, I refuse. He’s not fucking dead, because he can’t be dead, because I need him to not be dead and he isn’t dead because he wouldn’t do that to me. He’s out there and he needs my help. I need to help him.”_

_Clarke was silent for a moment. “We already went back, Monty. He’s… We can’t help him anymore, okay? I’m sorry.”_

_Monty stared at her, her words finally seeming to get through. Then, so quietly she thought she’d imagined it, he spoke._

_“Oh.”_

_______________________________________________________________

_Monty didn’t sleep that night. He didn’t sleep for the next few nights. He just sat at the edge of the camp, staring at thin air._

_He didn’t know what he was supposed to do. He’d been born next to Jasper, it seemed. They grew up together, went to jail together, came down to Earth together. Now, for the first time, Jasper wasn’t there, and Monty was lost._

_Monty had seen people grieve loved ones before. Sometimes, when people lost someone close, they screamed. Sometimes they got angry. Sometimes they cried all day, cried until they were dry and empty. Sometimes they swallowed it up until it swallowed them back. But Monty didn’t know how to feel. He just went over it in his head over and over- what had happened, what he could have done, the life they’d had and the one they hadn’t, and sat there. Waiting for him to come back._

_For the most part, people left him alone. They watched him out of the corner of their eyes, as if waiting for him to break. Every now and then, someone would go up to him, about to say something, but when he looked up at them he looked like a gust of wind would blow him to pieces, and they dropped it._

_After a few days, Clarke figured that it had been long enough that she had to do something. Before she could do anything, however, Monty finally stood. He looked like he was dreaming, and, considering how long it had been since anyone saw him sleep, maybe he was. Everyone watched as he grabbed a piece of metal and walked silently into the forest._

_Figuring the worst, Clarke followed him. She found him kneeling over the metal scrap, painting it with berries. Monty had written Jasper’s name on it, and was about to write something else when he dropped his arm to the ground instead and just stared at it._

_Clarke put a hand on his shoulder and he looked up at her. “That’s-” his voice broke. “That’s, um, what you’re supposed to do, right? The- the grave, it- for people who- it’s for- for, um…” he trailed off and she nodded._

_“Want me to help?” she asked. Monty shook his head silently. After a moment, he bent over again and wrote ‘best friend’ below the name. He traced the letters with his fingers, laughing for a second before the sound became choked and his face crumpled._

_Monty pushed himself up, stumbling towards the unofficial graveyard. He planted the scrap of metal next to the other graves with shaking hands and looked over at Clarke again. “Are we- are we going to, um, the- the bo- are we going to get him?”_

_“We can’t. You know we can’t.”_

_He nodded mutely and swallowed. Heavy silence hung in the air for a minute before he spoke. “But we could try…” He stopped and sat next to the grave. “Could you…?”_

_Clarke smiled and turned around. She walked off, pretending she couldn’t hear him crying again. She thought about his friend, Jasper. She’d never gotten to know him, but he’d seemed nice. And now the only one who would really remember him was Monty. She wondered about their relationship- if ‘best friend’ really covered it- but stopped herself. It wasn’t her business._

\--------------------------------------------------------------

 

A corpse. Pinned to a tree and covered in bugs, the remains of what used to be a 16-year-old boy hung rotting. Wide, empty eyes stared at the sky, slowly being eaten. Its last words dangled in the air. And there the corpse would stay, rotting until there was nothing left, and no one remembered it was ever alive.

 

_Monty bolted upright, the ghost of a scream ringing in his ears. He panicked silently, his breath catching._

_No one would remember Jasper. Everyone would move on and forget, except Monty. If he died- and, the way things were going in the camp, it wasn’t exactly unlikely- no one would mourn him either. No one would remember either of them. He and Jasper both, forgotten, their corpses rotting away. And no one would care._

_No one would care._

\-------------------------------------------------------------

 

It had been months since then. Monty thought he would have stopped reaching for Jasper as soon as he woke up by now. He thought it would have stopped hurting when he realized no one was there. He thought he’d stop turning his head every time someone made a joke to see if Jasper was laughing. He thought he’d stop waking up at least once a week, pictures of a decomposing corpse flashing behind his eyes.He thought things would start being funny again. He thought he’d be able to breathe without thinking of him.

  
He was wrong about a lot of things. 


End file.
